Bishop Allen Model United Nations Recap

by Marta on June 3, 2014

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The infamous BAMUN cupcakes.

The following Recap was provided by the BAMUN Secretariat.

DON’T GO TO BAMUN, EVER. It sucks.

This year’s BAMUN Conference was absolutely terrible. The delegates hated (and I mean HATED) the high levels of debate, the interesting topics and the fantastic keynote speaker. They turned away at the sight of piles of fresh and aromatic pizza and hand-made cupcakes decorated to look like the world and bearing the BAMUN logo. “Enough is enough,” they said, when they found out they’d be spending the day in the brand new, eco-friendly, technologically-forward Police Academy. They cried of embarrassment when they found out that their effort would be recognized with awards, hand-written in beautiful Gothic calligraphy. Finally, they spent the entire day writing concerned pages to each other using the complementary note pads and snazzy pens provided by the Conference.

Don’t think the Secretariat enjoyed themselves, either. In fact, the crisis office was rampant with stray crisis liaisons hiding from debate and delegate-zillas behind barricades crafted from Rice Krispy Treat boxes. Faced with crying delegates, the Secretariat was forced to spend the entire day running as if they were marathon runners. And, as MUN debaters, it is clear that they are only talented in “sports of the mind.” One can imagine the immense suffering that was caused to these poor souls. Foot rubs during the various breaks were the only way that these martyrs could go on.

And the debate topics totally sucked. I mean who cares about saving the world from widespread, life-threatening epidemic called MUNitis? And the European Union potentially breaking apart and making way for a new politically unified Arab Union? BORING!!! Not to mention debating the ethics and logistics behind the Mars One Mission…the Secretariat probably should have cancelled the conference as soon as they had the chance.

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Co-Secretary-General Marta Skreta speaks.

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Delegates raise their placards in committee.

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Members of the BAMUN team.

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A delegate makes a speech in committee.

This plight can be traced to well before the conference. Delegates who had never participated in any MUN conference were highly insulted that their teachers recognized them as novices and signed them up for BAMUN’s complementary training day. They absolutely could not believe that veteran debaters would have the audacity to corrupt their untouched minds with useful tips and debate practice.  Besides, the fact that the Secretariat hosted them at their own library and even fed them pizza was a sign they wanted fattened delegates, perhaps to feed to the guard dogs of Tartarus. This, of course, would have been a better fate than if they had spent the day at BAMUN.

All in all, BAMUN sucked. Seriously. If you’re ever thinking of going, just stop.

Save yourself.

Just kidding…BAMUN was THE BOMB!!!

Over 100 delegates, ranging in experience from novices to veterans, came from all over the Greater Toronto Area to attend BAMUN’s seventh annual conference. The theme for this year was “Taking Initiative as Global Citizens”, which provided  an inviting environment for these future global thinkers and leaders to discuss ideas, solutions and opinions on issues that significantly impact all members of the global community.

After the day, the Secretariat was wowed by the outpouring of delegates and teachers who both commended them on organizing the best BAMUN to date.

After all, the Secretariat stayed up the night before thinking of G-rated MUN puns for the day of. Any conference that values MUN puns is guaranteed to be awesome.

Check out their website at www.bamun.org!

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BAMUN 2014’s theme was “Taking Initiative as Global Citizens.”

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Delegates debate in committee.

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One of BAMUN’s Crisis Directors shows his excitement for the conference.

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