A Journey to Finding Self-Identity Through Model United Nations

As the 2018 – 2019 Model UN Season comes to a close, high school senior Khai Nguyen reflects on his MUN career as he transitions to the collegiate circuit.

Why am I here? Why do I do Model UN? These are the questions that every delegate will encounter at least once in their Model UN career. Whether it be at 2:00 AM, the night before a conference when you’re still writing your Position Paper, or when you’re dealing with the stress and politics that come with the extracurricular activity you’ve grown to love.

Khai Nguyen at Gar-Field High School Model United Nations

Let’s be real, we all started the same way. For half of us, Model UN was just something we did for the college application, or we did it because our parents wanted us to. For the rest of us, it was another club to socialize with friends, or an excuse to get out on the weekends, not to mention the overnight trips without your parents at a collegiate conference.

But something changed along the way. Something that brought us from that mindset, to now reading an article on Best Delegate. For each of us that something is different, but for all of us, that something is the answer. The answer to why you are here. The answer to why you do Model UN. This is my answer.

I started Model UN in 8th Grade, solely for the college applications, just as many others were doing. Don’t get me wrong, before then, I had my successes. I was a strong swimmer, always placed on the A medley relay team. I was a strong speaker, constantly participating in speech competitions in the county and placing well. I was a strong martial artist, who had a black belt in Taekwondo and was on the U.S. Junior Wushu Team. But all of this was hidden, hidden in the shadows of my older brother who had accomplished the same, if not more, in the same fields. Growing up, I often wondered, who am I? What have I achieved? Did I deserve my titles? Or are they simply passed to me because of my brother? I lived in the shadow. Afraid to step into the light. Afraid to find out that I was right, that I was nothing without my brother.

Joining Model UN was my first step out of the shadow. My first step into an unknown field without my brother. I remember my first conference where I was a “back-row” delegate, not because I was too afraid to speak, but because I was confused by the concept of Parliamentary Procedure. I remember the awards ceremony at that conference, where the Chair went through the awards, listing what seemed like every country but my own. And I remember that endless cycle of participating at conferences, waiting during award ceremonies, never once hearing my position called. As the end of the year fast approached, and the Model UN season coming to a close, I had reached a point in which I thought it was all true, I was nothing, nothing more than a reflection.

High School Model UN was different for me, the summer had filled me with the determination to succeed. This clean slate was an opportunity to do things differently, and so I began the grind. I began to research harder, raised my placard more, and even read every “How To” article on Best Delegate. I participated in mocks, and at my first high school level conference I was recognized as an Outstanding Delegation, higher than our school’s Under-Secretary-General who was in my committee. The next few years flew past into the present where I have risen to near the top of the Model UN program in my school, and have accomplishing things I never thought possible merely a few years ago, things I never thought possible without my brother. I forged my own path in my Model UN career. I worked and had my failures, but eventually I found myself. This was the answer. The answer to why I am here. The answer to why I do Model UN. To prove, not just to others, but to myself, that I was more than just a reflection.

I realize now, more than ever, it doesn’t matter how or why you started. I myself am guilty of this, I did do it for the college application, but what matters the most is why I stayed. I’ve come to realize, looking back now, how Model UN has shaped me into the individual that I am today. It has given me the closest of friends, both inside and outside of my school. It has improved my ability to research, write, and speak on a multitude of different subjects. It has even changed the way I walk and present myself, and I can genuinely say that I am happy with the way I have been changed.

To the delegates reading this article, I leave you with this. Yes, Model UN can be tough sometimes. It can take hours to research enough to be prepared for a committee. It can keep you up late at night, and strip you of your energy in the morning, even days after a conference. It can be filled with “gavel hunters” who will do whatever it takes, as they are driven by the concept of awards. And anybody, who has ever been in a committee, can attest to the statement that bias and favoritism from the Dias does occur, and it can cost you the award you know you deserved.

But you’re here reading this article for a reason. Something about Model UN has captivated you, just as it has captivated me. We all wish that something about Model UN will change, to remove this toxicity that haunts us all. However, deep down you know, Model UN will never change, at least not in the way you want it to. But it doesn’t matter if Model UN will never change, what matters is how we let Model UN change us. Nothing will ever compare to what we have right here, right now. The circuit is my family, and if you give them the chance, they can be yours too.

I encourage you to take the time to question why you are here, and why do you do Model UN. It is only after realizing your answer to these questions will you be able to emerge as the Best Delegate that you were meant to be.

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